Thursday, 3 October 2013

Deeper, deeper, deeper

A lot of people have seen the illusion of 'I'. When they directly look, they cannot locate a singular place where 'self' is located. That's really great because there isn't one, so good start.

That isn't the final step, this process isn't a once and done deal. We have trillions of neural connections in the brain that physically create this illusion of 'I'. We have believed for thousands of years in this separate individual identity. We simply cannot just see through it and the whole house of cards collapses. The brain can't re-pattern that quickly, which is a good thing because you could just as easily re-code some very destructive behaviours. Imagine watching a horror film with this system in action, you'd instantly become terrified of everything. A walking nightmare.

This is why you may see through the illusion, but notice you don't feel as peaceful as you expected. You still feel stressed and anxious or worried about certain events. Little things still tick you off, and you may wonder why.

The 'I' is still active in 'your' brain, and 'your' life.

The reason is because you have this whole neural network still alive and kicking in the background. It takes effort, and perserverance to slowly begin to re-code the brain and shut down this network. The Default Mode Network as Gary Weber calls it. The more and more you let go of attachments, the more you reduce this sense of self, you begin to flow in alignment with life, and it may take you places you never could have imagined with the very limited computing power of the 'I'.

Life works in beautiful ways, if you let it.

Thursday, 29 November 2012

Slow Dance


Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?

Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.
The music won't last.

Do you run through each day
On the fly?

Whenyou ash How are you? Do
you hear the reply?

When the day is done,
do you lie in your bed

With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?

You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.
The music won't last.

Ever toldyour child,
We'll do it tomorrow?

And inyour haste, Not
see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die

Cause you never had time
To call and say, "Hi"?

You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.
The music won't last.

Whenyou run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.

Whenyou worry and hurry throughyour day,
It is like an unopened gift thrown away.

Life is not a race.
Do take it slower.

Hear the music Before
the song is over.

(Just for the record, not my writing)


Facebook: I must admit, I do have Facebook

Twitter: I even tweet!


Tuesday, 20 November 2012

Deconstruct The 'I', Abide In Stillness

I've been practising some meditation techniques I learned from Gary Weber's blog, and a couple questions he was kind enough to send via PM. The goal of this is to completely de-construct the 'I'.

One technique of Gary's that really highlights the contents of your thoughts is to sit in a comfortable, quiet place for at least 5 minutes. Take some calm, slow breaths and focus exclusively on that for at least a minute. Then imagine 2 buckets, one labelled 'I, me, or mine' and the other 'Thoughts not involving an 'I''. Now pay close attention to the content of your thoughts, and place a pebble in the relevant bucket each time a thought arises.

What you'll quickly realise is that 99% of thoughts are all about you, self referential thoughts. Gary's method, which is heavily influenced by Ramana Maharshi, is to deconstruct the 'I', getting to the source of identity, rather than sorting through every thought.

A lot of the folks from various movements have realised that no 'I' exists, which is true, BUT, the selfing network is still alive, trillions of neurons and synaptic connections in the brain don't immediately rewire, that's just impossible. To quote Gary;

"IME, awakening is not a "once and done", it goes on and on. (i don't use the "e" word as it is so misunderstood). we have roughly 50,000,000,000,000 synaptic interconnections between our neurons; if only 2% of those are used in "selfing" and self-related behaviors, that is still 1,000,000,000,000 that need to be unwound and/or reconfigured. That, thankfully, doesn't happen all at once or it would be cataclysmic. It goes on, and on and on. If anyone declares themselves "finished", they aren't."

And also;

"Stillness is capable of endless enlargement."

That is how things are feeling right now, i'm able to abide in that for a short while, yet I can sense it is only a small taste of the endless depth. It can be deepened with practise.

It really is a beautiful thing, the peace I have craved my entire life. Or "the peace that passeth all understanding."

What i've been finding is that not only am I able to abide in this thought free state for a short while, this weekend I was able to be with my partner and had moments where the 'I' was completely dropped and I was able to relate without any self referential thinking. Relate from stillness. It was incredibly peaceful, a kind of nectar to the soul. Our natural state.

One other thing i've noticed while reflecting and deconstructing, is that when in solitude I can be in stillness, but I had some belief that I had to relate to others through a 'self'. Interesting observation. Like I had to be someone to function in the world, but this isn't the case. Thoughts can come up, the right thing to say or do in the moment. From what i've read of the stillness state, this experience is quoted by many noted teachers, Tolle, Weber and Lao Tzu spring to mind right now.

“Do you have the patience to wait
 Till your mud settles and the water is clear?
Can you remain unmoving
Till the right action arises by itself?”

- Lao Tzu

"This moment is already always as it is, and there's nothing you can do about that. That's what you accept. Then, action that arises has a different energy to it. The will that flows into what you do is no longer egoic."

- Eckhart Tolle

This is how being in the world is starting to feel. When you don't live through an 'I' or for the 'I', you move through the world in stillness and allow things to arise naturally. It really is beautiful. 

Another question i've been working with is one Gary sent to me, the way I ask it to myself is; 'if i'm not in alignment right now, WHO isn't alignment?' or 'who/what isn't in alignment right now?' Then I see what comes up. And don't just ask it and wonder off, but see what comes up, be there for a while, see the thought structure in place and it will begin to weaken. Then you'll be drawn more and more into the stillness, as you deconstruct the 'I', it's all that is left. All that is real. All that is true. 

Then it won't be YOUR movement, just movement. 
Not YOUR words, just words. 
Not YOUR stillness, just stillness.
And you begin to align with what is.

Deconstruct the 'I', abide in stillness. Get on it. 

Sunday, 11 November 2012

We've Been Looking At It All Wrong

Wow. So i've been researching this no self topic for the last little while, and it seems it's a much bigger movement than I even knew about. I happened to come across Gary Weber, and his work has really blown me away. Blending ancient teachings with cutting edge technology to really 'prove' what's going on. Incredible, really.

The way in which I thought of no self before was that you see no you exists, in any way. It just doesn't. That's a great start but not the whole race. The interesting thing is what happens after that. You think this is a one shot deal and you're 'done' for life? Nope. Sorry.

I think that's a big misconception about enlightenment. And the argument still exists over whether it can be deepened. From researching the work of Gary, and his colleagues, i've come to learn (and apply) his work. What happens is this.

The brain literally has a hardwired version of 'you'. All the neurons, all the connections have been built so 'you' exist. We are talking trillions of connections here, physical connections in the brain of a 'you' that is believed to exist. But as we can see when we actually look for you, is that you don't. Hmm. I think what most people expect is that you suddenly 'pop' and BAM you're a wise old sage sitting in a cave with loads of gap year backpackers bugging you for wisdom. But the reality is that all of these brain synapses are still active. 'The Selfing Network' is still alive.

What this then causes is a constant stream of thoughts about a you that we can see doesn't exist. It's like the brain is running on autopilot, still running the 'you' software. Interesting.

One prominent person in a previous movement states that this constant stream of thoughts is automatic and CAN'T be stopped. Gary Weber says it can, and is living life for the most part without thoughts.

How, I hear you cry.

Well if you really examine this constant stream of thought, you will see (very quickly) that they are all self referential. Ie, they are ALL about YOU. So to stop these thoughts, you get to the source.

Mr Weber has the MRI scans of meditators brains. It is LITERALLY posible to rewire it, give it enough data and it will reconfigure. See the brain loves stillness, it's like it's natural state before all the fictitious self crap clogged it up. It's almost like your brain is like a computer, running tons of useless programs, redundant thought streams and a couple viruses.

All these are just getting in the way to connecting with life and living from stillness. The thoughts are 'taking up the bandwidth' to quote Mr Weber.

It IS possible to live without self referential thoughts, you need to rewire your brain. It IS possible to live from stillness and connect to life in a real and ever increasing place of power.

This will be my practise for the next while, in fact i've already startes and feel incredible stillness at times. I can sense this is only the beginning however, and seeing no self exists is a great place to start as you can really get a perspective on the self referential thoughts that stand between  you and life.

It's all very exciting if you ask me.

Tuesday, 30 October 2012

Science Is Cool

"Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them." - Albert Einstein

I'm sure you've read this before. I've seen it many times, yet never really looked at it, or understood it. Yet i've come across a video that seems to shed some light on this for me.

(This blog post was influenced by a Gary Weber video I watched. If you haven't heard of Gary Weber, I highly recommend his stuff. And his beard. He really does have terrific facial hair.)

Subjects were given a problem to solve and their brain was monitored using scanners (MRI, etc) the scientists could predict with 100% accuracy the point when the person accomplished the task.

Interesting enough in it's own right, I think you'll agree. But what happened next is also intriguing. Once the problem had been solved, it sent the information up to another area of the brain, the part that claimed ownership, ie 'I solved the problem, it was ME.'



Is this what Einstein is saying, yet the other way around? In this example the problem was solved THEN identified as ME that solved it, yet when you reverse it, is it possible the fictitious ME is creating fictitious problems that this space, or void, or life itself just figures out? (if you let it)

Is that possible?

Is that what Einstein means?

There does seem to be a gap between the science and the spiritual crowd. I think Gary Weber is the current day bridge. Some of his descriptions could be straight from Tolle, yet his analysis and testing is scientific. Einstein also has some interesting quotes from a man that is essentially a scientist. Here's one:

“The true value of a human being can be found in the degree to which he has attained liberation from the self.”

Great stuff.

Science is cool.

When I first got into Tolle etc, I actually thought science was the enemy. Always trying to disprove things, maybe this was 'beyond' that, beyond thought, beyond reason.

In retrospect, I was in denial. Creating this comfortable mental version of reality that I didn't want examined. Maybe this is why scientific research into this isn't even close to mainstream as the spiritual crowd is. It's almost like the warm, cozy beliefs of spirituality are so nice you don't want to give them up, even if they are lies. And the market for your lies is so vast you can happily spend your lifetime being a 'seeker'. And no-one will challenge you.

But science is making headway. It'll be interesting when science has some rock solid proof of no self, I wonder what the hippies'll do then....

Sunday, 28 October 2012

Life lives Itself

So I just watched this video,  the simplicity of it really hit me. How all so beautifully simple it really is.

It just could not be more simple.

Everything is one. One flow. Reality. Everything exists in reality. There is no separation, EVERYTHING in reality. What happens is the mind really complicates things, the illusion of separation. You take thoughts as truth, YOUR opinion, YOUR standpoint. The biggest lie is the one that thinks there is a separate you. There isn't. There can't possibly be. Everything is one.

Life is living itself. No you to control anything. It's all an illusion. Crazy huh?

Your whole life, the struggles, the times you defended yourself, embarrassed yourself, humiliated yourself, were proud of yourself. WHAT SELF? There isn't one. anywhere, ever.

So your whole life has been in service of a lie, and reality has been unaffected. The full glory, the potential, the infinite love and passion that were there all along, untapped because you were fighting phantoms, chasing shadows, and working for a you that doesn't exist.

How annoying, right? I know, I did it too. Everyone is doing it, but YOU are reading this, now. You have a chance, a way out. You can see this pattern, break the identification and live in reality. You could do that, right now, if you were really honest.

And that's all you need to crack this, honesty. That's the key, just that. All this is true, but it isn't true because I said it, reality doesn't care what you or I think of it. It just is. So you either see what is REAL,  the truth of the situation, or your turn away to live a life of cowardice and vanity.

Because it's not even like you 'win'. If you turn your head, ignore this, run away, reality doesn't even care. It's still true, it's still reality. You just can't see it. You're too busy reading some shitty magazine or watching some shitty soap. Anything to feed the drama, to give you some feeling in your grey existence.

But you're missing out. Not even on some shiny idea, but on truth, on reality. And everything that entails. Living.

Life is living itself, the full force, the depths of reality you will never see unless you muster the honesty to see this. You really are missing out, all to live in service of a LIE.

Is it even worth it? Do you even feel fulfilled? Is ego driven vanity working out for you? If it is, cool, well done. But it isn't, is it? It gnaws at you, in your quiet moments, in moments of despair, when you allow just a atom of honesty, you know you're building castles in the sky. A monument to nothing. Nothing at all.

When you start tapping this flow, the flow of reality, you unlock your potential. Because life works for all life, it works for the whole. It's beautiful. Endless depths of love, of truth, of passion. Exploring life, living life as a human could. A life of truth and human brilliance.

And don't thing, 'yes Rikki, this is correct. I agree..', no. I don't want you to agree, don't stop there. Agreeing won't help you. This isn't 'right' or 'wrong', this is what IS. Truth. Is this real?  You must look, and see this for yourself. Recognise the pattern. Only then can you start tapping this flow.

ONLY then.

It's sickening, what you could be. And what you give it all up for.