Thursday, 15 December 2011

Experience of the structure in action..

The task of a philosopher, is to essentially find his own answers to his own questions. It's easy to generalize and assume everyone is operating under the same paradigm, which i'm not saying IS the case, (i'm also not saying it isn't) but I can only reliably go on my experience. So I shall..

In my last post, I talked about how being liberated is to see that the self doesn't exist, but also how the remaining thought structure still remains and still feeds a self that isn't. Basically the same system runs, and i'd like to share an experience of how that has been true for me.

I was in Vegas last week. The centre on which Vegas turns is that it's the party capital of the world. That's what it does. That's it's thing. Obviously we did the club thing etc (what happens in Vegas...) but what i'd like to share with you today is how I felt when approaching girls.

Firstly, let's not judge me here. Yes, i'm liberated, and yes I talked about sacrifice, but look - if this whole male-female attraction thing didn't exist, neither would we. Boys like girls, and girls like boys. It happens. Get over it.

So.

What I found was that when I wanted to go talk to a girl, a hot girl, i'd get nervous. Now, i'm not saying there's anything wrong in that, i'm not judging it, but it's that structure in operation isn't it?

If there is no me, no self, then what was nervous?

I was actually reading Ciaran's posts while over there. Perfect timing actually because he spoke of fear, and how people try to repress it. How it's all vanity. The trick is to be completely honest and actually realize you ARE nervous/afraid. And there's nothing wrong in that.

Now i'm home, and have time to reflect, it's bang on the money. The thoughts, the programming was still working. The vanity thing Ciaran talked about. I was being vain. I didn't want to get shot down, and that's where the nerves came from.

The fear of looking bad. Vanity.

It still operates. That's the evidence of it, in my experience. My thoughts were still geared to protect a self that doesn't exist. I didn't really look at it. I mean, if I had REALLY looked into it, i'd have seen that working. I'd have seen that my thoughts were protecting a self image that doesn't exist. That's it.

This is how it could of gone...(it didn't because i'm so suave, and sophisticated....But I digress)

Me: Hey....who are you?

Super Hot: Fuck off.

Me:...........

Then what? The sea flood? Plates shift? Nuclear war? The Universe explode?

Nope.

Nothing would have happened. Would my ego have been bruised?

What ego?

So what's up with that?

Well, the structure was running, and I got caught in it. I didn't see the structure running, because what was I being vain to protect? What is there to protect?

HAHA!! The secret to approaching women. Here it is. Fearless.

Seriously though, can you see that too? How the vanity thing from pre-liberation was still there? How the structure still operated?

Even though there is seen to be nothing at the core, it still fed nothing. Tried to make nothing look good. More importantly, didn't want to make nothing look bad.

There it is. Direct experience of what I talked about yesterday.

"But where do you take that from here?" I hear you cry. Well, thoughts happen. This I know, I don't know where they come from, but, alas, they do. And this structure still exists, but for me the key is acknowledging it's existence. So it's like, yeah, thoughts are happening, and maybe they create emotions, but it's not who I am.

They exist, and I acknowledge they do, but it doesn't matter. Yeah, i'm nervous. Of? Protecting a self that doesn't exist. That's the autonomous process in action. And I caught it (in retrospect). Still take action.

Most people get caught up in it, and when they think these thoughts, it completely takes them over. Hence the whole NLP, hypnosis thing where they essentially re-program your thoughts to be happier, more confident etc. But that only works if the thoughts are identified with.

That's what I have for now, hope you enjoyed.

Word.

Wednesday, 14 December 2011

Structure of what's left..

The problem as I see it right now, is that to become liberated, all you need to do is see no self exists. That's the baseline. That's essential. Straight to the core. POW and the world is cured, right?

Wrong. That's not the end, it's only the beginning.

What we have are a lot of numbers. A list of liberated. Yet very few with any real clarity, and a tiny proportion of key players willing to stick around and help anyone else. It's like...

'Can you see it? No self?'

'Erm, no, I still believe in an I....'

'But is it true?'

'Errr....no. Wow.'

'BAM! Next...'

Whether they stick around is anyone's guess. Why don't they? If at the core, there is no self, and their is NO identification to thought whatsoever, shouldn't everyone feel some basic level of compassion or curiosity to help the next guy?

What's left once you've seen the truth of no self existing? Well dear reader, i'll answer that for you - the mental structure is still in place. The same structure that you had before, the structure that fed the ego, made it special, wanted to stand out, me, me, me, is still there. You shot the very heart of the lie, but the outer core still remains.

You still want to be right, and you still want to look good. Looking good and being right is often enough, and that's as far as you're willing to go. How far did you really push that idea, how far did you look into it, or research it, how well do you know what you're saying?

Did you go all the way, and get into the engine room of it, or skim the surface, find an outlook that cast you in the best possible light, and use that? 

You want the position that you are one that's correct, and makes you look the best.  That's not even an opinion is it, that's what's happening. I see so many Rumi quotes on Facebook, and when I question them, they just don't want to look. They want to bless me with some kind of infinite love. That's their position, that's the angle their hitting this from.

They hit it this way because when I question them, even for a second, they can revert to the whole '<3' process and somehow be above what I questioned. I'm young. I'm naive. I don't understand. I'm a cult leader. I've heard it all. It's the same process, doing whatever to cast the best possible angle on a self that doens't even exist.

Although they would NEVER admit that. Oh no. Partly because they don't see it, mainly because they never looked.

Let's take embarassment. How is that possible with no self existing? I mean, really, look at that. How does that work, what's to be embarrassed? There IS NO SELF to be embarrassed, so how comes people still are?

But it's still there isn't it? That thought process still exists for you doesn't it?

The process is still functioning, and although at the very core, you realise there is nothing to be fed, it still continues to work. We can't control thought, so in a sense, that an autonomous process. What we can do, is look at these thoughts as they arise.

Really, that's all we can do. We can catch them, and see how they work. We can climb into them and see how that process is working. Working for a self that doesn't exist.

See if you can catch yourself taking a position, a side, and see if you can catch your motivation behind it. Is it still that self serving autonomous process working, still feeding that ego that doesn't even exist.

Get back to me on this one, i'm interested to see how this works out.

Sunday, 11 December 2011

I'm back..

So i'm back after a week in Vegas. Yes I know I talked about sacrifice, but this was booked ages ago, and I couldn't let my friends down. Plus Vegas is like, REALLY fun. But anyway...

Pretty crazy thing happened while I was over there, I thought I was having a heart attack. Seriously. At 23. And no, I don't do drugs, ever.

I was lying in bed, my chest started aching, felt compression on my chest, then I had a wave of nausea, then my breathing tightened. I went into my friends, and informed them of my condition. My vision started to go blurry and I thought I was going to pass out. They said I went really pale and was sweating.

It kinda sucked to be honest. Called a doctor, went to hospital. Tests came back fine. They don't know what it was. Reassuring...

What was strange was that I didn't actually have a fear of dying. My overwhelming sensation was the way i'd leave things with people if I did die there and then. (Yes it sounds dramatic now, but for a while I thought it was a heart attack, so forgive me...FYI - first symptoms aren't always painful, it can start with an aching and progress..)

I won't go into detail, but I thought about the people I needed to speak to, and how I always think i'm going to live forever. (intellectually of course I don't, but i'm always putting things off) A kind of 'i'll do it later' mentality. But that clawing sensation of 'it's going to end now' was a real eye opener for me.

Get stuff done NOW.

And although you'll probably read this, and add it to the list of 'things i'll do when I have time', for me, it was a direct experience of 'I NEED to do things now, because I could die, like NOW.'

I mean, if you were on the very edge, where you had that wake up call, it could end RIGHT NOW, what would you do? Would you keep skirting around the edges, or would you dive right in?

Really think about this, because we live our lives so safely. So grey. So average. We never push the boundaries. We're content with a 5 out of 10, as long as it's safe, and known.

But wake up, really. Because you're going to die, and you're still carrying that grudge, or not telling that one person you love them. So do it.

Do it now.

I see a lot of people in the forum, and they're playing it safe. Not pushing it, they skirt round the edge, essentially they're scared. What if. I don't know this, shall I do it? It's uncomfortable, i'll come back later. I'll read some more, intellectualise it some more. Hell, i'll just ignore it for a while.

Stop it. Man up, do it now. Whatever it is you need to, and YOU know what it is you need to do.

So do it.

Monday, 28 November 2011

Going dark..

Ciaran disappears for a while when he's really digging into philosophical issues. I can see why. Seeing the lack of any real clarity in almost everyone i've come across has just....I don't even know how to describe it. Words fail me.

How can people not see?

Adrian said it best...

"Ciaran didnt go any further after no self than many people here have done. "

Wow. I don't even have any other words for this. Just wow. Words fail me. I honestly didn't think people still had this level of fog to believe this shit.

If I have to remind you, Ciaran not only cracked the shell on this, he built the RT forum, and mapped it for everyone else. So the structure was in place. He wrote his pieces on how to deepen, overcoming anxiety, the void, demon theory, and easing suffering. He also helped build LU, helped with their e-book, set up the Vanguard, set up his own RT publishing company and offered to publish work good enough whilst still liberating more people than anyone else.

And I have to read..



"Ciaran didnt go any further after no self than many people here have done. "

What do you say to that? It's just such a joke it's not even funny. I wish it was funny, but it's not.


And Ciaran is still knocking out gold with his latest posts, which people have done almost nothing but criticize. It's insane. My whole outlook on the liberated has been blown open.

Seriously, how can I see that he's bang on point and most can't/won't? (Genuine question)

I think if i'm going to get any real clarity myself i'll need to stop Facebooking, because conversing on this atom deep level is blowing my Zen mind to bits.

Sunday, 27 November 2011

Facebook quotes..

"Music is the Universe saying 'I love you'".

I'm getting really tired of seeing this on Facebook. It's usually accompanied by a '<3' and everyone liking it. This Facebook status in particular had comments of 'Beautiful!' and 'I love this! <3'

But just stop for a second, seriously. Please. Just stop being romantic and look at it. How is this true in any way?

Is this true of dark, heavy, grunge music? Is heavy metal the universe saying 'I love you'?

I decide to comment. Usually i'll let it go, because i'd spend 80% of my life commenting on these things if I really looked hard at them all, but this one was so glaring I just had to say something.

I basically got a reply of..."I am everything, so i am love...and music is the only way to talk without words"

Wow.

So..."so if you're everything, you must be hate to. So why isn't music hate?' 


Pff. I won't post the whole thing, it's long, drawn out, and ridiculous. She basically says hate only exists for the mind. I counter that if she's everything, she's hate too. Live by the sword and all that...


She asks how the mind can understand love, then says love is the death of mind. I ask how she can do her shopping and make appointments with a dead mind. She says I don't understand, and I need to experience, not informations. Sorry, what?


These people are dangerous. Aren't they the flip side of those crazy American people that'll kill you if you say God doesn't exist? They just dress it up in niceness and love, but they're still talking crap. Really. They post these things but have no way of backing them up because it's bullshit and has no grounding in reality. 


The only reason they do it is because it makes them feel good, and everyone agrees, and they build this little loving community and sit and quote Rumi and...yeah. They think they're spiritual and above me because apparently I don't understand. I'm being negative and not loving like they. 


But what they don't realize is that i'm all about reality and truth. That's it. I'm not here to hate, or love for that matter, i'm just looking at what's real with open eyes. And like it or not, music ISN'T the Universe saying it loves you.


It isn't true. Not because I don't want it to be, but because when you really look at it, it's NOT true is it? It's just not. It's crap. But because everyone else is full of crap, it goes unnoticed. No one calls it out, because it's too 'nice'. It's not truth, it's nice-ism. Yeah. That's what it is, nice-ism. And i'm the big bad wolf because i'm the meanie telling them that nice-ism has no grounding in reality. 


Bad Rikki.

It's what Ciaran was talking about - agreeing. Someone will post up a quote, no one REALLY looks at it, it just sounds good, so they gush all over it. They don't realize these quotes NEVER wake anyone up, but that doesn't matter does it, because your goal was to look good, and have people re-affirm you. 

If there's one thing I want you to take from this post, is to just LOOK at what's been said. See for yourself if it is true. And see if it has any ACTUAL depth and clarity. If it will ACTUALLY HELP anyone that is looking for freedom, or it's a self serving device to make you feel good in front of all your spiritual friends.


Just that one thing. For me.


I ended the thread like this...

"Music isn't love.

Stop being romantic."


She 'liked' it, then posted...

"hahahahahaha! Rikki! <3"

I don't think she saw it. Pff, people.

Saturday, 26 November 2011

I'm blown away..

Wow.

Just wow.

I didn't realise people had no clarity. I really didn't. Jesus. This is insane. I've been blown away.

Since Ciaran has been blogging the past week, my eyes have been opened wide. Like, fuck, this is all true, fuck, I had no depth, Jesus. So what did I do? I started digging, and LOOKING. Everything he has written is money.

But what am I seeing in response? People thinking the same? Thinking 'wow, yeah. Fuck. This is bang on it, I really need to start digging, like now.'

Haha. Of course not. Even 'enlightened' truth sayers, arguing. Arguing what? REALITY. THE TRUTH OF THINGS. WOW.

Liberation isn't the final destination is it? That's not the end of bullshit, the evidence is glaring.

His posts aren't shrowded in flowers, and love, and serenity and fucking Rumi are they? No. You see the word 'fuck' and you run a mile. 'Ciaran has gone mad!' you cry, because you didn't see love or Rumi and you ran away to your little fucking Facebook group where you could cool off, have a beer and hide with the other cowards. Post up a little picture of a sunset and feel comfortable again. Phew...

I thought better of you. Maybe that was my mistake.

I'm a little bit sickened right now.

Friday, 25 November 2011

Sacrifice and putting some thoughts down..

So I was invited out tonight, by girls. GIRLS. But i'm not going. I said no. Instead i'm going to start digging a little deeper. Doing what I posted about yesterday. Sacrificing.

It's only a small sacrifice, although there are 4-5 of them....NO. Focus.

I'm currently reading 'Confessions Of a Philosopher' by Bryan Magee. Getting my knowledge together of the big players in the philosophy game. I know a little, but I need to know a LOT more. So i'm going to be looking into Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle (in that order). Mainly so I can go to parties and brag about how much I know of the aforementioned.

I kid.

Ok, so i'm going to use this blog to post up thoughts i've had on the human condition, suffering, motivations etc. Maybe some little discoveries. Just throw it up here, get it out my head and down to come back later to if necessary.

Today, on my lunch break, I was looking into what Ciaran mentioned on repressed passion and genius. Do I feel that? Is there a passion in me that burns, hidden under layer upon layer of bullshit?

Yes. Yes there is.

I've come to an early conclusion that from an early age we are just programmed to be gray. Not too happy, not too sad. Average. Normal. Not showing off too much, not putting yourself down to much. A 5 out of 10.

Obviously by and large, people never really question anything do they? The tick along, being gray. Being average. Acting normal. So although it's still not right to let them 'get away with' not looking, we can see that, for the most part, they don't. Because no one told them to. They run the programmes they were programmed to, until they die.

Very few are the exception. We must act normal, right? People MUST like us? So we become their prisoner. We do what's required to fit in and be accepted. If we're feeling particularly low, or dark, we smile, and go home to cry. Because doing that in public isn't acceptable. Unless you're a character in a soap.

Very few break the mold. They don't ever test things, or dig too deep. They find a mildly comfortable average, and live there. It's not TOO good but, more importantly, it's not TOO bad either. A safe 5.

And that's that until they die. Never rising too high, never falling too low. Feels safe, and known.

Social conformity plays a part. We just have to act in certain ways to be 'normal' right? It's ok for a child to do a cart wheel in the centre of town, cute even, but a fully grown man? HA! PSYCHO!

Why is that?

Where is that tipping point where we can't do what we want anymore, and have to conform to an accepted normality? When do we repress, hold whatever emotion we're feeling in, and put that thinly veiled smile back on our face? When is it NOT OK to kick and scream because you want an ice cream but you're mummy says no?

For the vast majority of us, the life we lead has been laid out for us already. We think we have a choice, but the choices we make are confined to a set list of possible options. Technically we can do and be anything we want, BUT the vast majority of us choose something we're vaguely interested in, or just grab whatever falls into our lap.

For me, if I wasn't so deeply caked in bullshit, identified with these dark, torturous thoughts then i'd probably be an average gray 5 too. So I needed that terrifying darkness to motivate me to do a little fucking looking. I fell too low for it to be comfortable anymore, and I didn't really have a choice.

And yet i'm still repressed. People asking me stupid fucking questions that DESERVE stupid fucking answers. But you can't do that can you? No. Because it doesn't conform to the social conformity dynamic. I must smile, and give some kind of rational answer to a retarded question.

Do I look fat in this?

Yes. Yes you do. You're diet is poor, you don't exercise enough, and you drink too much alcohol. You never go near fruit or veg, you never drink water, and you've never seen the inside of a gym. No. You spend WAY too much time reading bullshit gossip magazines and covering your hair in poisonous chemicals that make you look like a fucking skunk.

But no, you can't say that can you? Of course you can't. If you did, she'd be straight on the phone to all her friends, and they'd all hate you. Chauvinistic pig. What makes you so great?!

You have to say 'no, you look good. It suits you, sure all the guys will love you in that!' But that's a lie, and you just repressed a little more.

(btw, that isn't a personal example. Just made it up for example. Honest...)

I've started digging.

Thursday, 24 November 2011

Dig Deeper..

Ok, so Ciaran quit.

I can see why, I really can. His blog is bringing the heat. He always brought the heat. What's amazing me is the fact that so many claim to be enlightened, and yet are still attacking his points. He unleashed on Danny, and the reaction wasn't 'yeah, fuck, you're right. Jesus.' It was basically, 'he's talking shit.'

But he isn't talking shit. He's bang on the money. So why doesn't everyone see that?

People ARE selfish. I've been selfish to a huge degree. ME. Yes ME. I'm not ashamed to say that.

Seriously.

I'm happy to dick around on Facebook, go party at the weekend, while people are locked in this mental prison. Torturing themselves with phantom fears held in with phantom walls. And there's Rikki, living it up in the nightclub, thinking he's the shit.

It's shameful.

Yeah ok, I post a little. I help on the forum. I've made a couple videos for Liberation Unleashed. But that's not enough is it? Why aren't I at this every spare second I have? Why? I haven't sacrificed anything. I'm even going to Las Vegas next week with my friends. Why haven't I used that money to help free the world?

Why?

The problem is, I only saw the problem when he brought it up.  It took a man i've never actually met to make me see this. I haven't dug anywhere near deep enough. I've barely scratched the surface on human suffering, the human condition. Seriously. We liberate ourselves then think that's the end of the journey.

POW. You're a Buddha now, go pick up chicks in the club with your new Zen powers. Shameful.

People don't dig, even after liberation. There's more. It's hugely apparent in the replies to Ciaran's resignation isn't it? Or is it just me that can see the actual truth in his posts?

I'm looking at the responses, and thinking 'why can I see this is bang on the money, but others can't? Or won't?' The same people that claim to be enlightened, get criticized, and react, and defend, or flip it off as Ciaran going off on one again. You do that because you're too afraid, or selfish, or lazy to look at the fact that what he's saying is actually true.

You haven't looked. You reacted. You flipped it off, and you run away.

Yet again, he's had to do the leg work, and yet again, he's being attacked for bringing the truth. But this time, he's getting it from the people he tried to help in the first place. So called liberated that don't see his points are bang on the money.

I'm going to start digging. Really. We shouldn't rely on Ciaran to keep doing this, bringing clarity and sucking on the udder of his wisdom. Because you can all do it, if you'd lay it all on the line, give it all up and take a cold hard look at what's actually going on.

What have you sacrificed? Personally, what have YOU sacrificed?

And don't say five minutes here and there, shooting off the odd forum response or blog post (like me). What have you personally given up to free the planet of this bullshit?

YOU?

I'm getting tired of people spouting Rumi quotes and love and serenity pictures on Facebook. Because anyone can do that, and it's helping literally no one. It's clarity on an atom deep level guys, really.

Did those same quotes help you break out of identification? No. So why are you posting them?

People love to feel good. And superior. And posting a Rumi quote with a '<3' after it, then everyone 'likes' it, and smiles, and then they say how beautiful it is, and how everything happens in it's own time, and the universe decides, and.....yeah.

But come on, that's weak. It just makes you feel good, and because everyone agrees, you assume that's enough. So you smile a little inside. You did a good thing today didn't you? YAY. You can go to bed thinking you did your bit, and helped free the world, but you didn't, it was self serving. Were you helping others or making yourself feel good by weakly veiling your attempt at helping others as using them to make yourself feel good?

Dig.

I'm going to. Ciaran's gone, but he was right. And you can all sustain eachother, keep posting Rumi all over Facebook, or you can climb into the engine room of the human condition, and get a real grip of what the fuck is going on. He even hinted at the repression of human passion and genius, start there.

What will you sacrifice?

P.S. My thoughts are that everyone will club together against this, and there will be validation in numbers. If 3 or more people disagree, then whoever else disagrees will feel 'ok' to jump on the bandwagon, mop their brow and say an inner 'thank fuck he was wrong'.

Friday, 11 November 2011

Letting things be..

I often have ideas and insights as I go about my day. I feel a strong urge to write, ideas are flowing, it's actually very joyful for me. I actually feel exhilirated when I read or write something that's right on the money. When you hit that sweet spot, when you can describe something beautifully and it's like 'yeah, that's exactly it. That's money right there.'

You have this insight, or this feeling, and you want to share it, because it's awesome, and you want to give someone the blueprint on how to get there themselves, because you're just a nice guy like that, and you want to help people.

When I experience this, I can't wait to get home from work and blog something up. But what happens is, I get home, and the urge has gone.  It passed.

Damn.

I sit here now, and i've got a little time between 'life things' I have to do. It's the perfect time to write. I'm home alone, it's quiet. Time to get my Zen on, if you will. But what do I write about? No self? My mind is completely blank.

But having nothing to say is almost why we're here isn't it? When the identified mind drama ceases, and all that's left is this beautiful space. It's empty. Life happens in this space. So I do have something to say it seems, but that something is nothing.

I think that's an interesting thing to write about, the honesty of having nothing to say. I remember hearing Eckhart Tolle talk about how he gave himself a certain time each day to write. Sometimes he'd write the whole time, somethimes he wouldn't write anything, but he'd sit there, and give space for the writing to happen through him.

And that led me down the thought stream of - life comes in waves. We can't really control what or how they come, we can only be the space for them to be, then say yes to them. Go with the flow if you will.

I can't even begin to count the strange things that have happened to me, that led me down an amazing path. Meeting the wrong person, picking up the wrong book, breaking down in your car etc etc. You literally never know what's going to happen. Just open yourself up to life, let it work through you.

Say yes.

Stop closing down, trying to mentally figure everything out so everything's 'perfect'. Because if there's one thing i've learned in my 23 years on this god forsaken planet, is that you never know what's good for you in the long run.

Honestly.

Maybe the guy that comes to fix your car when you break down on the way home for work in the pouring rain is the guy you'll marry and spend the rest of your life living happily ever after. You can't know it won't be.

I remember asking a girl out that I liked while at work, but she was already with someone. A fail it would seem. But we met again when I was at college, were together for 3 years and had a beautiful son. 

Letting things be doesn't mean you don't take any action, you just open yourself up for action to happen and you'll know when it's right to proceed. 

Wherever you are in life right now, just open yourself up and let life happen. You literally never know what amazing experiences life has in store for you.

(I started writing this post with nothing to say, and it led me to this message. I'm living my advice ;) haha)

Thursday, 3 November 2011

Enlightenment for young people...(relationships)

Wow. Relationships. That's a biggie.

I'd like to start (so I will, it's my blog) by discussing the emptiness people feel inside. The feeling of lack. The emptiness that they endlessly try to fill and 'complete' themselves.

The unenlightened human condition you could say. Perhaps the beating heart of our motivations in everyday life.

Perhaps.

'Ah, once I get this, i'll be complete and happy. If I have that car, wow, that's all i've ever wanted. If I was a millionaire i'd never complain again....' 

Now, there are many ways that people will do this. We have the obvious ones like money, fame, alcohol, drugs, gambling, over eating, obsession with success, the list is in fact very long. You could argue that people will use these things to escape certain emotions - which is a fair point - but I feel the whole 'getting something to feel differently' paradigm is essentially, one and the same.

Just about any way someone can think of, or be convinced into thinking, they will use to fill this imaginary hole to become complete. It's the core of the advertising industry. That's the centre for which the structure of unnecessary sale of 'things' turns.

Buy this, you'll be sexier. Smell like this and women will want to have sex with you. Buy this watch and everything will fall into place in your life. Makes sense, right?

The structure is this - if I buy this, i'll feel that. That's advertising principle #1. The perpetual unattainable carrot on a string.

Well relationships can fall into this category too.

If I have her, i'll be complete. How many times have we heard the phrases 'I need you', 'you complete me', 'Everything I am, I give to you', 'tie me up and i'll walk on all fours and bark like a dog..' << not so much? Again, it's the same thing. Trying to fill that lack of completeness, but this time, it's a person that gets the label of 'life completer'.

I think sometimes it goes unnoticed because with two people running the same system, you support eachother. 'I complete you, you complete me. Perfect. Let's leave it this way, and let's never speak of it again.'

If we take a sneaky peek at nature, we see a completely different paradigm in operation. The male basically goes round getting his mack on with any available female. The pimp. It's all about reproduction, they usually don't stick around and help bring up the offspring. Oh no.

But why is this?

Is it because they don't feel the need to fill this illusionary hole? They aren't looking for completeness like humans are?

Pff...I don't know. Most animals won't give me a direct answer to this one. You'll have to make your own minds up.

Eckhart Tolle says this...

"True love is transcendental.  Without recognition of the formless within yourself, there can be no true transcendental love.  If you cannot recognize the formless in yourself, you cannot recognize yourself in the other.  The recognition of the other as yourself in essence – not the form – is true love.  As long as the conditioned mind operates and you are completely identified with it, there’s no true love.  There may be substitutes, things that are called “love” but are not true love."

And I agree. What most people call 'love' is actually attachment. This kind of sentence illustrates that..

'Of course I love you, I really don't know why I slept with 3 different women on our anniversary. I wasn't thinking, but I do know this, I love you.'

I'm currently single, through choice. I don't need anyone to make me feel better. That's not to say if I met someone I enjoyed spending time with, found attractive, shared interests with and our lives happened to flow then I would enjoy a relationship with them. But it's a different type of relationship isn't it? It's not doomed from the start. It doesn't have it's foundations in a unspoken structure of 'let's help eachother stop feeling lonely and afraid in this big, dark world.'

I'm looking forward to meeting that person, because it will be fun. For both of us. And NOT because I need anything from them, and NOT because they need anything from me.

Hopefully she's hot though. I may be a Buddha, but we all love a hottie... :p

That's all for now, be great to get some feedback..

Saturday, 22 October 2011

Resistance...

I've been in this 'enlightenment game' for over a year now, i've read a lot of posts, and interacted with a fair few people. I've even managed to liberate 4. Go me.

What I see a huge amount of, is resistance. Fighting this whole liberation thing. Unless you're actually looking at the very possibility that a self doesn't exist, then you're resisting. I've heard almost every excuse as a reason not to look at the reality of it. I've even been called a 'belief clinging cultist.' I love that one, it's hilarious.

When we really look at resistance, what is it?

What's the structure that keeps this alive?

What stops people from actually looking?

They're presented with new information, information that doesn't fit their current perceived view of the world, and is immediately rejected. The mind says 'erm, that doesn't fit our map of the world, so no, that can't be right. Proceed to heckle...' And when thoughts run your life, then you follow this thought.

It doesn't get tested. For to test it would be to take a step into the unknown. And how many people do that these days?

A  lot of fear causes resistance. People may suffer, but it's known isn't it? It's comfortable, it's safe. They want freedom, but they aren't willing to pay the small fee of stepping into the unknown. Jed McKenna was right, 'it’s not happiness that sends one in search of truth. It’s rabid, feverish, clawing madness to stop being a lie, regardless of price, come heaven or hell.'

So we hit a boundary.

People are keen, they want the enlightenment, they want the stacks of cash, they want the flash cars, and the gorgeous women that go with it (true story) but the small price to pay is testing out a new theory. A new concept - the truth is, you ain't.

There's the rub. I want freedom, but I don't want to take the leap. Resistance.

What also surprises me, is how many people DO hang around to heckle. They hang in chatrooms, forums, Facebook groups and laugh, mock, tease people of this simple yet profound Truth. These people used to baffle me. If there's something I have NO interest in, that I don't believe, or I just don't want to talk about, I don't talk about it.

I don't tell people that I think they're crazy belief clinging cultists. I have other things to do, so why waste my relatively short life deriding others perceived reality?

I came to the conclusion that they are right on the very cusp of looking, but are too afraid. They must be, right? They are investing time and energy there, but aren't looking. A little hater filled no mans land.

For these people, I set a challenge. The Truth needs no defense, it stands alone. So. If they look and see that what I was pointing them to was correct - there is in fact, no self - then BAM! welcome to the party.

If they look, and everything i've told them is complete bullshit, then BAM! they get to look good in front of all their spiritual friends by making me look quite the fool. So it's a win-win.

And everyone likes a win-win.

In this situation, it goes one of two ways. They either look, and yeah, they see what i'm pointing them to is true. Welcome to reality. Or they make some grand closing statement and run like the wind, run back into what's uncomfortable, but known.

It's not even a big step. It's a subtle change of perspective that destroys your perceived view of what's real, and gives you perhaps your first look at what really is.

So which way will you take it dear reader? Will you enter into the win-win situation, or run back into your mind made - but known - bullshit?


You're here for a very short time. Don't waste it by being scared of something that doesn't even exist.

Saturday, 15 October 2011

Enlightenment for young people...(career)

Ok so I wanted to write a blog post, but instead of coming up with something myself, I thought it would be a cool idea to ask what people wanted to hear. I got some great feedback and will use them as fuel for a few more pieces, but I wanted to start with a suggestion from Elizabeth Whatsleft.

It was to write about what it's like to awaken at a young age (23) and how I feel about my future ie job, education, partner etc. I think it's a great idea and feel inspired writing it, so thank you Elizabeth.

I'll keep this as much on point as I can and focus on the future and not the past. I'll start with career because in a indirect way it's why I came back from the wilderness and starting helping people again.

When I woke up, it was such an anti-climax, that I thought it was just too simple. I felt a little like a fraud. I kept posting, and helped another guy see the truth, but it was still so simple I almost didn't notice it. Weird thing to say, right? I spent years, and read tons of stuff on enlightenment, then when I 'attain' it, I almost don't notice it.

Ha.

Maybe it was just unrealistic expectations of what I thought it would be like that made me undermine it. I expected to be a kind of 'Eckhart-Tolle-super-chilled-move-in-almost-slow-motion-and-smile-a-lot-inner-zen-master' type thing. But for me it was just a very subtle shift, and over the year it has deepened. A slow burner you could say.

What's weird is when I look back to my dark times, I can't believe they actually happened. It's like another person, and even though I don't feel hugely different, when I look back the difference is incredible.

Weird.

It's so cool. When I was 17, I went through a very dark period. I would lay in bed unable to stop this endless torture of thinking dark, dark thoughts. At times I thought I was going insane. Panic attacks, anxiety. Crazy. I remember saying to my dad 'if I could have 10 Ferrari's, or to feel normal again, i'd take the feel normal again.' So if you're reading this and going through this shit, let me tell you, you are so close to freedom it's not even funny. Get this done!

But anyway, I digress..

I'm an intelligent guy. I work a very simple, basically unskilled manual job. The whole 'chop wood, carry water' thing you could say. But I wanted a good career. I even bought Paul McKenna's 'I Can Make You Rich'. 

I keep drifting into the void. I've been doing that a lot lately. It's so still, and peaceful. It feels like home. Not special, or amazing. Just....whatever. I'm trying to think of the next thing to say, but it's like my brain is off for the evening, and there's just awareness. Awareness of the fact my brain's taking Friday night off.


Anyway, i'll come back to this tomorrow..



-----------------(sleep happens)---------------

Ok, so i'm back. It's 13:12 on a sunny Saturday afternoon and my brain decided to show up. Which is handy.

So I read Paul McKenna's book, looking for a career to dedicate my life to. Seems like a worthy thing for an ambitious young man to do, right? Well everything I thought of, didn't interest me. I used to do graphic design at college, but when I saw how bombarded we are as a society with advertising, it sickened me, even before liberation. TV, radio, magazines, shop adverts, internet banners etc etc etc

BUY THIS TO BE MORE COMPLETE. BUY THIS FOR A LITTLE MORE SELF-ESTEEM. BUY THIS TO BE BETTER BETTER BETTER.

I couldn't dedicate my focus, my career, my life to that bullshit. Long story short, I looked at almost everything that interested me, and saw through it all as maybe fun, but not enough to interest me to commit a career to.

What i've also been finding recently, is how many times I react to conditioning. Think things, and begin to behave in a way that would be expected of me. Sometimes I wonder how much of our lives we consciously choose to live, and how much is just running the patterns that have been encoded in us throughout our lives.

I used to always be 'improving' somehow. Moving forward. Reading something. Planning something Even when I was trying to relax, i'd be THINKING about how to get 'better' at X or Y. Now I find I can void out for a while, bliss for a bit and just simply be. It's awesome. And it really highlights for me that essentially - rich or poor - nothing really matters all that much. In a hundred years we won't be here, so i'm pretty chilled about everything now.

I stopped living someone else's expectations of me, and the break from that was beautiful. It's supercharged me because now I do WHAT I WANT. Which seems simple, but examine how much you do this in your life.

I've simply found a great freedom lately in doing the things I want to do.

When looking for a career, I distilled everything to nothing, and realised the only thing that really does interest me is liberation. Helping others see the simple truth of no self, examining reality, writing, exploring. So this is where I am right now. Working full time and being an undercover superhero in my spare time. It's going to go pro soon, it's too fucking...EVERYTHING not too. It's freedom, it's as it should be before we got lost in bullshit and fucked things up for a while.

I think it's really gaining traction as a movement, and what's great is that Ruthless Truth led the way for a long time, then IIona and Elena have come along and really taken this in a new direction with a completely different energy to it.

It's very exciting, and very cool.

It's great to have almost two different 'styles' because it reaches a wider audience. Perhaps more Eastern thinkers would have stayed away from Ruthless Truth and maybe more Western thinkers would have stayed away from Liberation Unleashed.

It's the same message. The Truth is what it is without anyone needing to believe it. It stands alone. But how you get to that simple Truth is where the movements differ slightly.

I also think this is a kind of movement that will just explode exponentially at some point. It only takes one or two real key figures to hear about this and BOOM, the whole world knows about it. Then it really gains momentum and hits the tipping point. Then it just snowballs until we're all sitting by the pool in Hawaii, sipping on something luminous, laughing at how crazy and fucked up we all were just a few years ago.

I was going to write about everything from my perspective in this post, but i've decided to break it up into a few pieces so it's more focused on each area and you don't get bored reading it.

This is part 1. Stay tuned kids...

Wednesday, 28 September 2011

Conversations with the Doctor Part II...

I was unsure whether Dr Bhagat had seen the lie of self, and asked the direct question..

  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • I need to ask you this question my friend, and although i've asked it many a time, I need to be sure to get this 100% confirmed for me. Here goes..

      Do you exist?
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • Yes
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • How so?
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • Even when peeling away all the layers, something remains
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • what is it that remains?
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • A sense of I.
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • what's that like?
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • Its like the Command centre or Controller , I guess. Its as if I am a building with many rooms, each room having a different function. Silly explanation but that's how I imagine it
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • and how do you know this core controller is real, and not just another thought?
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • I don't. I no longer believe one can control thought. To me that's a game. Like seeking or stopping seeking.
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • Yeah exactly, thoughts just happening, but no thinker. Just thinking.

      If you believe in this core controller, I think you need to examine it further my friend..
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • Ok, Rikki, might we examine this together please? ' I think you need to examine it further my friend..' Who might be the 'you examining 'it' further, Sir?
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • Let's not put a label on that, let's look at what's at the very core where you believe there is an 'I'.

      How do you know that to be true?
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • It remains constant. Always watching
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • There is a constant, there is watching, how do you know it's you?
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • Ok. Its the observer. I have indiviuated it to me, I guess
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • exactly. so is it you, or life living itself?
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • U r right Sir. Its the movement of life. But I incoporate it in my witnessing of my daily life.
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • Do you do this, or is it just happening?
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • Rikki- the observer watches the actions and reactions of my ego. I think my ego responds to the relative world and bases its actions on memory. No?
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • So the ego is observed, is the ego you?

      Is the observer?
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • The ego is part of my relative self that allows me to function in the relative world as a cardiologist. However, I must admit I am increasingly aware of its fickleness.
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • Yeah, it definitely exists. But is it truly who you are?
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • Yes and No. Am not sure how to answer this! Help me out...
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • good, you can only answer this by looking and seeing for yourself what's real my friend.

      Explain how yes and no...
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • Well, if its part of my relative self.. Then I take ownership. As the witness/observer it forms the entirety
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • If it's you, really you, then does it control things like your breathing?
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • No. Those are autonomic activities controlled spontaneously by the physical brain. The ego is also part of the brain but the conscious brain.
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • Of course, it exists. I'm questioning it's validity as you, how do you know it is?
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • I can watch my breathing and make a conscious effort to control it. So there a controller. This I take to be part of the witness.
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • Can you control thought?
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • Yes Sir. One can 'stop' a thought or resist it.
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • do you create them though, every thought you have?

      How do you stop them?
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • Some are spontaneous and others are consciously derived.
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • how do the spontaneous ones come to be if you didn't create them?
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • Just need to rush to hospital to see someone with chest pain. Back ASAP. Please let's continue. Need to get to bottom of this
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • Ok my friend, no problem.
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • Not sure the spontaneous ones. From the subconscious?
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • Some thoughts are reflexive, others derived from need, desire and attachment or motive. Others are deliberated and considered.
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • But is it you creating them, or are they just happening?

      Let's leave where you think they come from for a second..
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • On closer reflection, I guess they are just happening. But they are happening as a result of a larger event unfolding (as I see it). Perhaps it is my ego that feels that I am determining a small element of it. Some form of 'directed' will.
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • Ok mate, better, but see how you go into theory? Could be this, could be that?

      What we focus on is what we see and know to be real. That's key. That was we don't drift off into the mind, into thoughts, and distract ourselves.

      This is incredibly simple, but it needs pure focus on what's actually happening, so we can look at it with direct observation and get a proper grip on what's true.

      So you say they are just happening, cool. Is a 'me' making them happen, do you need to control them?

      Remember, no theory. Just direct observation..
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • No, there is no me. They are happening.
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • Awesome, what's that like? Explain a little more..
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • There is a dichotomy, Rikki. One the one hand, it is a great 'relief' that life just happens. On the other (my mind tripping in I guess), asks, what the hell, then, why bother. E.G robbing a bank, committing a crime etc - its all just happening
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • "On the other (my mind tripping in I guess), asks, what the hell, then, why bother. E.G robbing a bank, committing a crime etc"

      Is this just another thought? Is it really you?
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • Rikki- you are harsh! Yes, I guess its just a thought. At this stage, it seems there is no 'me'
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • All this really is Kiran, is a tearing down of the mystery of life and taking a real look at what's true. That's what this whole thing turns on.

      Direct observation of what's true. You got lost in thought, so has the world. What you're doing now is just looking without the theory, and alas, there is no 'me'.

      That simple observation, that lie, that illusion. Was there ever a you Kiran?
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • I guess not, Sir. Me has turned out to be an accumulation of neuronal firing,memory and concepts.
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • Aha! See what happens when you look? So simple right?

      Do you exist Kiran?

      Have you ever?
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • No, Sir. Just a thought. Put together. By whom?
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • No identity. Just thoughts. Just emotions. Just space.

      No me, or mine, or self..
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • No identity. Just thoughts. Just emotions. Just space.

      No me, or mine, or self..
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • So no blame, shame. No initiator.
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • Is that the reality or another thought?
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • Rikki. You are a rogue. Indeed , its a thought. Ok, its my turn. So if there is no Kiran/Rikki. Why are we different?
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • I'm just pointing you to what's true my friend.

      We have different thoughts, memories etc, but at the very core there is no self, no 'me', no controller, just life. Just life living itself..

      Has there ever been a you Kiran?
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • No Rikki. In that context, no.
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • So what is there?

      Do you exist?
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • No 'I' don't. What is there? Nothing. Just an unfolding of life.
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • Did you ever exist Kiran?can you see it as a mistaken identity your whole life?
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • I see it Rikki. But wonder how one deals with moral and ethical issues thereafter? I have tons of this daily herein Africa
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • Do the legwork my friend.
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • Explain in detail what the self is and how it works.

      How does it feel to be liberated?
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • The self is an reflection of thought, memory, internal and externally derived concepts. It is a changing and rather amorphous collection of states- all transient and prone to change at will.

      I have no idea what it feels like to be liberated. I do not consider myself so.
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • 'Do the legwork my friend.' - Oh yes?
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • and who changes them at will?
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • No 'one' . It changes
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • So how do you know this self you claim is there, is truly you?

      What evidence of it is there?
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • It is in name only Rikki. Nothing more. There is no evidence for it. The brain is very easy in accepting its own explanations
  • Rikki Winchester
    Rikki Winchester
    • aha, so what is there?
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • Nothing. Just a movement of thought - in and out. That is how I feel
    • apologies for the delays in reply. I am in between consulting patients!
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • no problem.

      Could you describe this a little more please, it's sounding like you're seeing no self as a fiction. And would like to clarify..
  • Kiran Bhagat

    Kiran Bhagat
    • No - not fiction. Just a 'story'. Woven with the rest of my environment. It no longer seems separate. All intertwined. No personal 'self' is what I am now 'seeing'.

      • Rikki Winchester

        Rikki Winchester
        • and how does that feel?
      • Kiran Bhagat

        Kiran Bhagat
        • There is weight removed in one sense. However, the trouble I have is working out how to deal with patients in this way! Truly. Because I cant be telling them that its all a 'story' - as true as it is. In addition my actions and reactions to patients, public and practitioners has begun to change.