Wednesday, 10 August 2011

The Shotgun and the Sniper

Ok, so as this is my blog, i'll use it as a whiteboard for what's going on, what little discoveries I may have had, and my thoughts right now etc

So Ciaran liberated me around July 2010. When I say liberated, it was a pinpoint sniper shot, right to the core delusion. No you. I saw it, boom.

In the words of a talking Russian meerkat; *chirpy noise* Simples.

What i've really been noticing lately, is how the internal structures are still in tact. We killed the lie, cool, no self, done. But then what's left?

Before this, i'd imagine enlightenment to be the end as such. Boom, done, welcome to Hollywood. Everything collapsed and i'd completed the game. You just passed go, here's your $200...

Not so.

When we look at Eckhart Tolle's story, his awakening, it was such a dramatic event that it completely transformed his life. His internal structures seemed to have been destroyed in the vortex and all that was left was seeing. Everything burned up. Gone. A shotgun to the lie, if you will.

Now, let's contrast that to me. I saw, very quickly, the illusion of self. Wow, ok, there is actually no me, in real life. But it wasn't the same, it was a subtle shift, an anti-climax. Most importantly, the structures still remained. The core was gone, the truth revealed, but the thought processes still had a free wheeling momentum.

I dipped out of RT for a while. Wasn't really blissing, but it seemed SO obvious, that it was almost insignificant. Crazy, huh?

But i'm back. I think the reason I was motivated to come back, was because I was trying to find a job, a career. I read some success books, but I just couldn't work out what I wanted to do. Nothing is all that important. I constantly asked myself 'wealth questions' 'what would I do if I couldn't fail' etc and all I kept coming back to, was this. The Truth. It's all that matters.

I literally couldn't find anything that I would consider viable as a career. Any idea I had, got looked at, and seen through. Not interested, next..

Looking back, what i'd actually been doing, was burning. Burning through structures, looking at what was bullshit until I finally broke through and the cold hard truth was all that was left. THIS is the most important thing, the world is in a crazy place right now. The London riots, another example of delusion.

I just started reading 'Confessions of a Philosopher' by Bryan Magee. Read it.

I've been questioning everything internally, looking at everything. Burning. What's real? What's free wheeling bullshit? I've dived into the darkness. Just thrown myself into the old, repressed, dark emotions and thought structures i'd stuffed into Pandora's infamous box. It's awesome. It's dark, and painful, and low, but it's real. It's fucking really real.

I'm bringing light to this, being real. And although it's pain, it's honest pain. It's not 'oh don't worry, things will get better'. Maybe they fucking won't. Let's not kid ourselves here, stop lying. Stop papering over the cracks, spinning the plates. Let them fall, smash it open, just fucking dive into it. It hurts man, but it's real.

And it's the only way to live.




Tuesday, 2 August 2011

Conversation with Silvia...


  • Silvia Gori

    •  Silvia Gori
      Hi! I talked to a lot of people ( Viv, Ilona, Stephen), I feel like I cannot get it, I know my feelings are not important to get this, that's why I'm gonna ask for your time and help!

      Thanks

  • Rikki Winchester 
     Rikki Winchester
    • There's nothing to get, there's nothing to find.

      Self is an illusion, simple as that. But you need to see this before you awaken, belief isn't necessary.

      So, when you try to locate a 'self', can you find one?
  • Silvia Gori

    Silvia Gori
    • I don't know, I mean I looked for a self, I can see thoughts come up by the brain and the body moves without an I, but I think I still feel an I that is doing all this lookin
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • Thoughts exist in the space, but they aren't attached to any self. That's the illusion right there.

      Everything still happens, but you recognise that there is no individual there.

      There is looking, but it isn't your looking.

      There are thoughts, but they aren't your thoughts.

      See where i'm going here?
  • Silvia Gori

    Silvia Gori
    • Sorry I cannot understand (for a language problem) what you mean in your question, can you say it in another way (thanks)
  • Rikki Winchester
    about an hour ago
    Rikki Winchester
    • See what i'm getting at?

      Thoughts exist, but they aren't attached to any 'self', any individual.

      They come and go in the space, but there is no controller, no you.

      Can you see this?
  • Silvia Gori

    Silvia Gori
    • I can see, but my mind is full of "I", it's like my mind is really attached to this "I", even if is just a thought
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • well it's false, it's just a thought like any other thought.

      It's taken you over because it's never been looked at for what it really is, just a bunch of thoughts. Nothing more.
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • When you look at what you think is 'you' can you see it's fasle?
    • *false
  • Silvia Gori

    Silvia Gori
    • Yes, it's false, is just a thought in my mind, a thought about me, but there's no me here
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • ok so thoughts are created by the brain, and arise in the space, but there is no central 'I'. No 'you'.

      "But I think in my mind there's the idea that the I doesn't exist and there's still another I that can see that"

      Just another thought of 'I'. An idea of 'I'.

      Let's keep this to what's real here, you can't see and 'I', so is there one?
  • Silvia Gori

    Silvia Gori
    • and I know that's false too. But who's seeing that now? another thought. and again and again
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • well seeing is happening, but there is no individual, no 'self'.

      There IS seeing, but it's not YOUR seeing.

      This isn't some zen magic levitation stuff. It's an honest look at what's real.

      You can't locate an 'I' but are still having thoughts of one. Ok, thoughts again, just thought.

      Not yours, just thought. Can you see this?
  • Silvia Gori

    Silvia Gori
    • I can understand this, but I cannot see it yet, what should I look at? thought arising?
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • Understanding doesn't matter, it needs to be seen. You can't find a self can you?

      What happens when you look internally for a 'you'?
  • Silvia Gori

    Silvia Gori
    • OK, if I concentrate I can see they're not mine at all, I can feel them as not mine
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • thoughts arising in the space?
    • are they your thoughts, or are they just arising, coming and going?
  • Silvia Gori

    Silvia Gori
    • they're just arising in the mind, I'm not creating them, they're not mine
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • great stuff, describe what's going on in more detail
    • push it more
  • Silvia Gori

    Silvia Gori
    • Now I feel really confused. There's some fear in me.
      I can see "I" in my thoughts but I feel less attachment to that if I say in my mind "I am Silvia" I can feel like thoughts are not talking about me, but it's all confused and I'm really afraid to lose it
  • Silvia Gori

    Silvia Gori
    • but I feel also this "be afraid of loosing" is a thought again and yes, in my body there are some feeling but it's like I don't know if I those feelings are about that thoughts, sorry it's complicated
  • Silvia Gori

    Silvia Gori
    • I can see the thoughts are just thoughts
      Like if I say in my mind "I am writing on the keyboard" , it's not true, the writing is happening and there's a thought about it.
      but please push more me if you can
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • this is spot on man, good stuff. It is scary because your whole life you've had this illusionary identity of 'you' and now it's been seen for the lie that it is.

      'Die before you die'

      People hide in intellectual comfort, you've actually looked and are seeing what's real here.

      Keep looking at what arises, what enters the space.

      Keep laser focus on this, look at what's happening..
  • Silvia Gori

    Silvia Gori
    • If I look at my hand moving and I say "I'm moving my hand" that's not true! My thought cannot move my hand! That looks pretty stupid right now
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • Everything just is, but there is no 'self'. It's as simple as that.

      You've seen this to be true right?

      So what do you see when you try to locate a self?
  • Silvia Gori

    Silvia Gori
    • I see the self is only in the thoughts and I can see the lie in it. I mean, when I do something then a thought came up saying "I am doing this", but the I is only in the thought. It's a lie that it's doing something, because something that's in the thought, I mean, a thought cannot do anything, cannot move my body.
      So my body is moving and the mind label it as "I am doing it", but it's just a tag.
      It's like now the thoughts and the body are disconnected.
      "I am" now is just a thought.
  • Rikki Winchester

    Rikki Winchester
    • exactly, the 'self' wasn't true and never has been. Nice work man.

      What's going on now, what are you feeling, what's this like?
  • Silvia Gori

    Silvia Gori
    • I feel I'm gonna lose it. I 've been in this state of mind few weeks ago and then I lost it. I need to be sure of this once for all.

      I have to go right now, I will check what's going on and I'm gonna talk to you again when I'll be back.

      For now, THANK YOU very much!

Monday, 1 August 2011

The problem with acceptance

The 'spiritual' school of thought seems to be to accept everything as it is, as that was the way the universe decided it.

That then begs the question; if someone was standing next to you, punching you in the face, do you stand there and take it just because the universe decided it so?

I've literally seen people 'OK' with the suffering of the world, kids starving, wars, whole countries suffering under some tyrant, all because 'the universe decided it so'.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Really?

Watch the news everyday, the consequence of delusion screams from the rooftops.

Sometimes literally.

If the world had been 'spiritual' during Hitler's rampage, if we'd have accepted 'this is what is', then untold more suffering would have been inflicted upon millions more people.

Get a grip.

Look at what's real, what's really going on here. Saying 'I won't take action, the universe decides, and this isn't my time' is just another attachment to a phantom belief controlled by a universal puppet master that doesn't exist.

If he does, where is this guy? I'd like to meet him.
 
The problem with acceptance is that it seems to kill any desire to take the bull by the horns and figure anything out yourself. It's just another rule to live by, but it masquerades under some illusion of nobility.

"This is karmic, the universe decided I need to suffer in order to blah blah blah..."

Why so? Where's this universal rulebook that says, well, anything?

Let's look at this, something is a belief until there is undeniable proof. Then you could say no belief is necessary, as it stands alone as true. So where is the proof everything needs to be accepted just as it is?

Would Hitler have stopped if the whole world 'accepted what is' and let him get on with it?

Maybe the universe will save you seconds before the SS stuff you naked in a shower room with 200 other 'accepters' and gas the fuck out of you.

Evidently not.

Truth needs no belief. No belief is true.

'Trusting the universe to decide' is just attachment to a thought that arose in the space and was taken as true. It was never looked at, and seen for what it is. But unless you're liberated from this delusion, this can be said for all thoughts.

What's really real, is the fact that planet Earth could explode into a trillion pieces, and the universe wouldn't shed a single tear.

Attachment to belief is the real issue here. People decide the universe is in control and any action you take 'against it' is futile. These are the people you may punch repeatedly in the face.

Beliefs are what cause people to act in ways they do. 'I'm right, you're wrong'. Attachment. 'The universe decides' is just another belief. A belief that goes under the 'spiritual' section and makes the believer feel either superior, or fucking lazy to do anything about it.

Let's wake the fuck up and see what's real around here.

It may frighten your intellectual comfort, but there is no god, there is no saviour from the heavens, and the universal puppet master you hold so dear, is just another attachment to a phantom belief that's slowly killing the world.