Ok so I wanted to write a blog post, but instead of coming up with something myself, I thought it would be a cool idea to ask what people wanted to hear. I got some great feedback and will use them as fuel for a few more pieces, but I wanted to start with a suggestion from Elizabeth Whatsleft.
It was to write about what it's like to awaken at a young age (23) and how I feel about my future ie job, education, partner etc. I think it's a great idea and feel inspired writing it, so thank you Elizabeth.
I'll keep this as much on point as I can and focus on the future and not the past. I'll start with career because in a indirect way it's why I came back from the wilderness and starting helping people again.
When I woke up, it was such an anti-climax, that I thought it was just too simple. I felt a little like a fraud. I kept posting, and helped another guy see the truth, but it was still so simple I almost didn't notice it. Weird thing to say, right? I spent years, and read tons of stuff on enlightenment, then when I 'attain' it, I almost don't notice it.
Maybe it was just unrealistic expectations of what I thought it would be like that made me undermine it. I expected to be a kind of 'Eckhart-Tolle-super-chilled-move-in-almost-slow-motion-and-smile-a-lot-inner-zen-master' type thing. But for me it was just a very subtle shift, and over the year it has deepened. A slow burner you could say.
What's weird is when I look back to my dark times, I can't believe they actually happened. It's like another person, and even though I don't feel hugely different, when I look back the difference is incredible.
It's so cool. When I was 17, I went through a very dark period. I would lay in bed unable to stop this endless torture of thinking dark, dark thoughts. At times I thought I was going insane. Panic attacks, anxiety. Crazy. I remember saying to my dad 'if I could have 10 Ferrari's, or to feel normal again, i'd take the feel normal again.' So if you're reading this and going through this shit, let me tell you, you are so close to freedom it's not even funny. Get this done!
But anyway, I digress..
I'm an intelligent guy. I work a very simple, basically unskilled manual job. The whole 'chop wood, carry water' thing you could say. But I wanted a good career. I even bought Paul McKenna's 'I Can Make You Rich'.
I keep drifting into the void. I've been doing that a lot lately. It's so still, and peaceful. It feels like home. Not special, or amazing. Just....whatever. I'm trying to think of the next thing to say, but it's like my brain is off for the evening, and there's just awareness. Awareness of the fact my brain's taking Friday night off.
Anyway, i'll come back to this tomorrow..
Ok, so i'm back. It's 13:12 on a sunny Saturday afternoon and my brain decided to show up. Which is handy.
So I read Paul McKenna's book, looking for a career to dedicate my life to. Seems like a worthy thing for an ambitious young man to do, right? Well everything I thought of, didn't interest me. I used to do graphic design at college, but when I saw how bombarded we are as a society with advertising, it sickened me, even before liberation. TV, radio, magazines, shop adverts, internet banners etc etc etc
BUY THIS TO BE MORE COMPLETE. BUY THIS FOR A LITTLE MORE SELF-ESTEEM. BUY THIS TO BE BETTER BETTER BETTER.
I couldn't dedicate my focus, my career, my life to that bullshit. Long story short, I looked at almost everything that interested me, and saw through it all as maybe fun, but not enough to interest me to commit a career to.
What i've also been finding recently, is how many times I react to conditioning. Think things, and begin to behave in a way that would be expected of me. Sometimes I wonder how much of our lives we consciously choose to live, and how much is just running the patterns that have been encoded in us throughout our lives.
I used to always be 'improving' somehow. Moving forward. Reading something. Planning something Even when I was trying to relax, i'd be THINKING about how to get 'better' at X or Y. Now I find I can void out for a while, bliss for a bit and just simply be. It's awesome. And it really highlights for me that essentially - rich or poor - nothing really matters all that much. In a hundred years we won't be here, so i'm pretty chilled about everything now.
I stopped living someone else's expectations of me, and the break from that was beautiful. It's supercharged me because now I do WHAT I WANT. Which seems simple, but examine how much you do this in your life.
I've simply found a great freedom lately in doing the things I want to do.
When looking for a career, I distilled everything to nothing, and realised the only thing that really does interest me is liberation. Helping others see the simple truth of no self, examining reality, writing, exploring. So this is where I am right now. Working full time and being an undercover superhero in my spare time. It's going to go pro soon, it's too fucking...EVERYTHING not too. It's freedom, it's as it should be before we got lost in bullshit and fucked things up for a while.
I think it's really gaining traction as a movement, and what's great is that Ruthless Truth led the way for a long time, then IIona and Elena have come along and really taken this in a new direction with a completely different energy to it.
It's very exciting, and very cool.
It's great to have almost two different 'styles' because it reaches a wider audience. Perhaps more Eastern thinkers would have stayed away from Ruthless Truth and maybe more Western thinkers would have stayed away from Liberation Unleashed.
It's the same message. The Truth is what it is without anyone needing to believe it. It stands alone. But how you get to that simple Truth is where the movements differ slightly.
I also think this is a kind of movement that will just explode exponentially at some point. It only takes one or two real key figures to hear about this and BOOM, the whole world knows about it. Then it really gains momentum and hits the tipping point. Then it just snowballs until we're all sitting by the pool in Hawaii, sipping on something luminous, laughing at how crazy and fucked up we all were just a few years ago.
I was going to write about everything from my perspective in this post, but i've decided to break it up into a few pieces so it's more focused on each area and you don't get bored reading it.
This is part 1. Stay tuned kids...