Monday, 28 November 2011

Going dark..

Ciaran disappears for a while when he's really digging into philosophical issues. I can see why. Seeing the lack of any real clarity in almost everyone i've come across has just....I don't even know how to describe it. Words fail me.

How can people not see?

Adrian said it best...

"Ciaran didnt go any further after no self than many people here have done. "

Wow. I don't even have any other words for this. Just wow. Words fail me. I honestly didn't think people still had this level of fog to believe this shit.

If I have to remind you, Ciaran not only cracked the shell on this, he built the RT forum, and mapped it for everyone else. So the structure was in place. He wrote his pieces on how to deepen, overcoming anxiety, the void, demon theory, and easing suffering. He also helped build LU, helped with their e-book, set up the Vanguard, set up his own RT publishing company and offered to publish work good enough whilst still liberating more people than anyone else.

And I have to read..

"Ciaran didnt go any further after no self than many people here have done. "

What do you say to that? It's just such a joke it's not even funny. I wish it was funny, but it's not.

And Ciaran is still knocking out gold with his latest posts, which people have done almost nothing but criticize. It's insane. My whole outlook on the liberated has been blown open.

Seriously, how can I see that he's bang on point and most can't/won't? (Genuine question)

I think if i'm going to get any real clarity myself i'll need to stop Facebooking, because conversing on this atom deep level is blowing my Zen mind to bits.

Sunday, 27 November 2011

Facebook quotes..

"Music is the Universe saying 'I love you'".

I'm getting really tired of seeing this on Facebook. It's usually accompanied by a '<3' and everyone liking it. This Facebook status in particular had comments of 'Beautiful!' and 'I love this! <3'

But just stop for a second, seriously. Please. Just stop being romantic and look at it. How is this true in any way?

Is this true of dark, heavy, grunge music? Is heavy metal the universe saying 'I love you'?

I decide to comment. Usually i'll let it go, because i'd spend 80% of my life commenting on these things if I really looked hard at them all, but this one was so glaring I just had to say something.

I basically got a reply of..."I am everything, so i am love...and music is the only way to talk without words"


So..."so if you're everything, you must be hate to. So why isn't music hate?' 

Pff. I won't post the whole thing, it's long, drawn out, and ridiculous. She basically says hate only exists for the mind. I counter that if she's everything, she's hate too. Live by the sword and all that...

She asks how the mind can understand love, then says love is the death of mind. I ask how she can do her shopping and make appointments with a dead mind. She says I don't understand, and I need to experience, not informations. Sorry, what?

These people are dangerous. Aren't they the flip side of those crazy American people that'll kill you if you say God doesn't exist? They just dress it up in niceness and love, but they're still talking crap. Really. They post these things but have no way of backing them up because it's bullshit and has no grounding in reality. 

The only reason they do it is because it makes them feel good, and everyone agrees, and they build this little loving community and sit and quote Rumi and...yeah. They think they're spiritual and above me because apparently I don't understand. I'm being negative and not loving like they. 

But what they don't realize is that i'm all about reality and truth. That's it. I'm not here to hate, or love for that matter, i'm just looking at what's real with open eyes. And like it or not, music ISN'T the Universe saying it loves you.

It isn't true. Not because I don't want it to be, but because when you really look at it, it's NOT true is it? It's just not. It's crap. But because everyone else is full of crap, it goes unnoticed. No one calls it out, because it's too 'nice'. It's not truth, it's nice-ism. Yeah. That's what it is, nice-ism. And i'm the big bad wolf because i'm the meanie telling them that nice-ism has no grounding in reality. 

Bad Rikki.

It's what Ciaran was talking about - agreeing. Someone will post up a quote, no one REALLY looks at it, it just sounds good, so they gush all over it. They don't realize these quotes NEVER wake anyone up, but that doesn't matter does it, because your goal was to look good, and have people re-affirm you. 

If there's one thing I want you to take from this post, is to just LOOK at what's been said. See for yourself if it is true. And see if it has any ACTUAL depth and clarity. If it will ACTUALLY HELP anyone that is looking for freedom, or it's a self serving device to make you feel good in front of all your spiritual friends.

Just that one thing. For me.

I ended the thread like this...

"Music isn't love.

Stop being romantic."

She 'liked' it, then posted...

"hahahahahaha! Rikki! <3"

I don't think she saw it. Pff, people.

Saturday, 26 November 2011

I'm blown away..


Just wow.

I didn't realise people had no clarity. I really didn't. Jesus. This is insane. I've been blown away.

Since Ciaran has been blogging the past week, my eyes have been opened wide. Like, fuck, this is all true, fuck, I had no depth, Jesus. So what did I do? I started digging, and LOOKING. Everything he has written is money.

But what am I seeing in response? People thinking the same? Thinking 'wow, yeah. Fuck. This is bang on it, I really need to start digging, like now.'

Haha. Of course not. Even 'enlightened' truth sayers, arguing. Arguing what? REALITY. THE TRUTH OF THINGS. WOW.

Liberation isn't the final destination is it? That's not the end of bullshit, the evidence is glaring.

His posts aren't shrowded in flowers, and love, and serenity and fucking Rumi are they? No. You see the word 'fuck' and you run a mile. 'Ciaran has gone mad!' you cry, because you didn't see love or Rumi and you ran away to your little fucking Facebook group where you could cool off, have a beer and hide with the other cowards. Post up a little picture of a sunset and feel comfortable again. Phew...

I thought better of you. Maybe that was my mistake.

I'm a little bit sickened right now.

Friday, 25 November 2011

Sacrifice and putting some thoughts down..

So I was invited out tonight, by girls. GIRLS. But i'm not going. I said no. Instead i'm going to start digging a little deeper. Doing what I posted about yesterday. Sacrificing.

It's only a small sacrifice, although there are 4-5 of them....NO. Focus.

I'm currently reading 'Confessions Of a Philosopher' by Bryan Magee. Getting my knowledge together of the big players in the philosophy game. I know a little, but I need to know a LOT more. So i'm going to be looking into Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle (in that order). Mainly so I can go to parties and brag about how much I know of the aforementioned.

I kid.

Ok, so i'm going to use this blog to post up thoughts i've had on the human condition, suffering, motivations etc. Maybe some little discoveries. Just throw it up here, get it out my head and down to come back later to if necessary.

Today, on my lunch break, I was looking into what Ciaran mentioned on repressed passion and genius. Do I feel that? Is there a passion in me that burns, hidden under layer upon layer of bullshit?

Yes. Yes there is.

I've come to an early conclusion that from an early age we are just programmed to be gray. Not too happy, not too sad. Average. Normal. Not showing off too much, not putting yourself down to much. A 5 out of 10.

Obviously by and large, people never really question anything do they? The tick along, being gray. Being average. Acting normal. So although it's still not right to let them 'get away with' not looking, we can see that, for the most part, they don't. Because no one told them to. They run the programmes they were programmed to, until they die.

Very few are the exception. We must act normal, right? People MUST like us? So we become their prisoner. We do what's required to fit in and be accepted. If we're feeling particularly low, or dark, we smile, and go home to cry. Because doing that in public isn't acceptable. Unless you're a character in a soap.

Very few break the mold. They don't ever test things, or dig too deep. They find a mildly comfortable average, and live there. It's not TOO good but, more importantly, it's not TOO bad either. A safe 5.

And that's that until they die. Never rising too high, never falling too low. Feels safe, and known.

Social conformity plays a part. We just have to act in certain ways to be 'normal' right? It's ok for a child to do a cart wheel in the centre of town, cute even, but a fully grown man? HA! PSYCHO!

Why is that?

Where is that tipping point where we can't do what we want anymore, and have to conform to an accepted normality? When do we repress, hold whatever emotion we're feeling in, and put that thinly veiled smile back on our face? When is it NOT OK to kick and scream because you want an ice cream but you're mummy says no?

For the vast majority of us, the life we lead has been laid out for us already. We think we have a choice, but the choices we make are confined to a set list of possible options. Technically we can do and be anything we want, BUT the vast majority of us choose something we're vaguely interested in, or just grab whatever falls into our lap.

For me, if I wasn't so deeply caked in bullshit, identified with these dark, torturous thoughts then i'd probably be an average gray 5 too. So I needed that terrifying darkness to motivate me to do a little fucking looking. I fell too low for it to be comfortable anymore, and I didn't really have a choice.

And yet i'm still repressed. People asking me stupid fucking questions that DESERVE stupid fucking answers. But you can't do that can you? No. Because it doesn't conform to the social conformity dynamic. I must smile, and give some kind of rational answer to a retarded question.

Do I look fat in this?

Yes. Yes you do. You're diet is poor, you don't exercise enough, and you drink too much alcohol. You never go near fruit or veg, you never drink water, and you've never seen the inside of a gym. No. You spend WAY too much time reading bullshit gossip magazines and covering your hair in poisonous chemicals that make you look like a fucking skunk.

But no, you can't say that can you? Of course you can't. If you did, she'd be straight on the phone to all her friends, and they'd all hate you. Chauvinistic pig. What makes you so great?!

You have to say 'no, you look good. It suits you, sure all the guys will love you in that!' But that's a lie, and you just repressed a little more.

(btw, that isn't a personal example. Just made it up for example. Honest...)

I've started digging.

Thursday, 24 November 2011

Dig Deeper..

Ok, so Ciaran quit.

I can see why, I really can. His blog is bringing the heat. He always brought the heat. What's amazing me is the fact that so many claim to be enlightened, and yet are still attacking his points. He unleashed on Danny, and the reaction wasn't 'yeah, fuck, you're right. Jesus.' It was basically, 'he's talking shit.'

But he isn't talking shit. He's bang on the money. So why doesn't everyone see that?

People ARE selfish. I've been selfish to a huge degree. ME. Yes ME. I'm not ashamed to say that.


I'm happy to dick around on Facebook, go party at the weekend, while people are locked in this mental prison. Torturing themselves with phantom fears held in with phantom walls. And there's Rikki, living it up in the nightclub, thinking he's the shit.

It's shameful.

Yeah ok, I post a little. I help on the forum. I've made a couple videos for Liberation Unleashed. But that's not enough is it? Why aren't I at this every spare second I have? Why? I haven't sacrificed anything. I'm even going to Las Vegas next week with my friends. Why haven't I used that money to help free the world?


The problem is, I only saw the problem when he brought it up.  It took a man i've never actually met to make me see this. I haven't dug anywhere near deep enough. I've barely scratched the surface on human suffering, the human condition. Seriously. We liberate ourselves then think that's the end of the journey.

POW. You're a Buddha now, go pick up chicks in the club with your new Zen powers. Shameful.

People don't dig, even after liberation. There's more. It's hugely apparent in the replies to Ciaran's resignation isn't it? Or is it just me that can see the actual truth in his posts?

I'm looking at the responses, and thinking 'why can I see this is bang on the money, but others can't? Or won't?' The same people that claim to be enlightened, get criticized, and react, and defend, or flip it off as Ciaran going off on one again. You do that because you're too afraid, or selfish, or lazy to look at the fact that what he's saying is actually true.

You haven't looked. You reacted. You flipped it off, and you run away.

Yet again, he's had to do the leg work, and yet again, he's being attacked for bringing the truth. But this time, he's getting it from the people he tried to help in the first place. So called liberated that don't see his points are bang on the money.

I'm going to start digging. Really. We shouldn't rely on Ciaran to keep doing this, bringing clarity and sucking on the udder of his wisdom. Because you can all do it, if you'd lay it all on the line, give it all up and take a cold hard look at what's actually going on.

What have you sacrificed? Personally, what have YOU sacrificed?

And don't say five minutes here and there, shooting off the odd forum response or blog post (like me). What have you personally given up to free the planet of this bullshit?


I'm getting tired of people spouting Rumi quotes and love and serenity pictures on Facebook. Because anyone can do that, and it's helping literally no one. It's clarity on an atom deep level guys, really.

Did those same quotes help you break out of identification? No. So why are you posting them?

People love to feel good. And superior. And posting a Rumi quote with a '<3' after it, then everyone 'likes' it, and smiles, and then they say how beautiful it is, and how everything happens in it's own time, and the universe decides, and.....yeah.

But come on, that's weak. It just makes you feel good, and because everyone agrees, you assume that's enough. So you smile a little inside. You did a good thing today didn't you? YAY. You can go to bed thinking you did your bit, and helped free the world, but you didn't, it was self serving. Were you helping others or making yourself feel good by weakly veiling your attempt at helping others as using them to make yourself feel good?


I'm going to. Ciaran's gone, but he was right. And you can all sustain eachother, keep posting Rumi all over Facebook, or you can climb into the engine room of the human condition, and get a real grip of what the fuck is going on. He even hinted at the repression of human passion and genius, start there.

What will you sacrifice?

P.S. My thoughts are that everyone will club together against this, and there will be validation in numbers. If 3 or more people disagree, then whoever else disagrees will feel 'ok' to jump on the bandwagon, mop their brow and say an inner 'thank fuck he was wrong'.

Friday, 11 November 2011

Letting things be..

I often have ideas and insights as I go about my day. I feel a strong urge to write, ideas are flowing, it's actually very joyful for me. I actually feel exhilirated when I read or write something that's right on the money. When you hit that sweet spot, when you can describe something beautifully and it's like 'yeah, that's exactly it. That's money right there.'

You have this insight, or this feeling, and you want to share it, because it's awesome, and you want to give someone the blueprint on how to get there themselves, because you're just a nice guy like that, and you want to help people.

When I experience this, I can't wait to get home from work and blog something up. But what happens is, I get home, and the urge has gone.  It passed.


I sit here now, and i've got a little time between 'life things' I have to do. It's the perfect time to write. I'm home alone, it's quiet. Time to get my Zen on, if you will. But what do I write about? No self? My mind is completely blank.

But having nothing to say is almost why we're here isn't it? When the identified mind drama ceases, and all that's left is this beautiful space. It's empty. Life happens in this space. So I do have something to say it seems, but that something is nothing.

I think that's an interesting thing to write about, the honesty of having nothing to say. I remember hearing Eckhart Tolle talk about how he gave himself a certain time each day to write. Sometimes he'd write the whole time, somethimes he wouldn't write anything, but he'd sit there, and give space for the writing to happen through him.

And that led me down the thought stream of - life comes in waves. We can't really control what or how they come, we can only be the space for them to be, then say yes to them. Go with the flow if you will.

I can't even begin to count the strange things that have happened to me, that led me down an amazing path. Meeting the wrong person, picking up the wrong book, breaking down in your car etc etc. You literally never know what's going to happen. Just open yourself up to life, let it work through you.

Say yes.

Stop closing down, trying to mentally figure everything out so everything's 'perfect'. Because if there's one thing i've learned in my 23 years on this god forsaken planet, is that you never know what's good for you in the long run.


Maybe the guy that comes to fix your car when you break down on the way home for work in the pouring rain is the guy you'll marry and spend the rest of your life living happily ever after. You can't know it won't be.

I remember asking a girl out that I liked while at work, but she was already with someone. A fail it would seem. But we met again when I was at college, were together for 3 years and had a beautiful son. 

Letting things be doesn't mean you don't take any action, you just open yourself up for action to happen and you'll know when it's right to proceed. 

Wherever you are in life right now, just open yourself up and let life happen. You literally never know what amazing experiences life has in store for you.

(I started writing this post with nothing to say, and it led me to this message. I'm living my advice ;) haha)

Thursday, 3 November 2011

Enlightenment for young people...(relationships)

Wow. Relationships. That's a biggie.

I'd like to start (so I will, it's my blog) by discussing the emptiness people feel inside. The feeling of lack. The emptiness that they endlessly try to fill and 'complete' themselves.

The unenlightened human condition you could say. Perhaps the beating heart of our motivations in everyday life.


'Ah, once I get this, i'll be complete and happy. If I have that car, wow, that's all i've ever wanted. If I was a millionaire i'd never complain again....' 

Now, there are many ways that people will do this. We have the obvious ones like money, fame, alcohol, drugs, gambling, over eating, obsession with success, the list is in fact very long. You could argue that people will use these things to escape certain emotions - which is a fair point - but I feel the whole 'getting something to feel differently' paradigm is essentially, one and the same.

Just about any way someone can think of, or be convinced into thinking, they will use to fill this imaginary hole to become complete. It's the core of the advertising industry. That's the centre for which the structure of unnecessary sale of 'things' turns.

Buy this, you'll be sexier. Smell like this and women will want to have sex with you. Buy this watch and everything will fall into place in your life. Makes sense, right?

The structure is this - if I buy this, i'll feel that. That's advertising principle #1. The perpetual unattainable carrot on a string.

Well relationships can fall into this category too.

If I have her, i'll be complete. How many times have we heard the phrases 'I need you', 'you complete me', 'Everything I am, I give to you', 'tie me up and i'll walk on all fours and bark like a dog..' << not so much? Again, it's the same thing. Trying to fill that lack of completeness, but this time, it's a person that gets the label of 'life completer'.

I think sometimes it goes unnoticed because with two people running the same system, you support eachother. 'I complete you, you complete me. Perfect. Let's leave it this way, and let's never speak of it again.'

If we take a sneaky peek at nature, we see a completely different paradigm in operation. The male basically goes round getting his mack on with any available female. The pimp. It's all about reproduction, they usually don't stick around and help bring up the offspring. Oh no.

But why is this?

Is it because they don't feel the need to fill this illusionary hole? They aren't looking for completeness like humans are?

Pff...I don't know. Most animals won't give me a direct answer to this one. You'll have to make your own minds up.

Eckhart Tolle says this...

"True love is transcendental.  Without recognition of the formless within yourself, there can be no true transcendental love.  If you cannot recognize the formless in yourself, you cannot recognize yourself in the other.  The recognition of the other as yourself in essence – not the form – is true love.  As long as the conditioned mind operates and you are completely identified with it, there’s no true love.  There may be substitutes, things that are called “love” but are not true love."

And I agree. What most people call 'love' is actually attachment. This kind of sentence illustrates that..

'Of course I love you, I really don't know why I slept with 3 different women on our anniversary. I wasn't thinking, but I do know this, I love you.'

I'm currently single, through choice. I don't need anyone to make me feel better. That's not to say if I met someone I enjoyed spending time with, found attractive, shared interests with and our lives happened to flow then I would enjoy a relationship with them. But it's a different type of relationship isn't it? It's not doomed from the start. It doesn't have it's foundations in a unspoken structure of 'let's help eachother stop feeling lonely and afraid in this big, dark world.'

I'm looking forward to meeting that person, because it will be fun. For both of us. And NOT because I need anything from them, and NOT because they need anything from me.

Hopefully she's hot though. I may be a Buddha, but we all love a hottie... :p

That's all for now, be great to get some feedback..