Monday, 23 January 2012

Taking A Break..

Where do I start?

People don't give a fuck, they just don't. Look around, everyone's doing their little rat race thing. Comparing, judging, always wanting more, trying to be more. Always more.

I started on the book, but I don't know if i'll continue. I asked myself, even if I were to write the most profound book ever written, would people really care? Would it actually change things? Would people give up their bullshit beliefs and take a quick look to see if the truth really is true?

We all know the answer to that.

I'd post up links in the FB groups and what would I get? Some asshole wasting his fucking life trolling on any thread that'll get a bite. People don't want freedom, it's too hard, and it doesn't make them feel good. They want something else to add to their ego to make them feel more superior. A 'my beliefs are better than your beliefs' type deal.

You want to be better, you want to be right, you want to look good. That's the real human condition right there.

Look at society, how we're drip fed what to like, what to buy, how to think.  Not only are we controlled, we defend the web of lies society has spun, everyone reinforces the structure, and everyone is complicit. Never daring to ask real questions, or find real answers. We're a planet full of robots controlled by a very few. We don't know that we're being controlled. Bill Hicks puts it beautifully...

'You are free to do as we tell you. You are free to do as we tell you.'

Everyone's asleep, but worse, very few want to awaken. And even if they do see through the illusion of self, they don't use it for any real change in the world. I feel most of the time they help others to make themselves feel good, not because they genuinely want to help anyone. 

I feel myself getting distant with people, because I can't stand their falseness, their lack of clarity, the way they live their life in a walking daze. The way they talk to me about needing to buy things, like that'll help. It won't help. You're told it'll help, it'll pump your self esteem for a while, then you'll need to buy something else to inflate it again. The only people that win are the advertisers, and the producers of the products you so blindly buy. But even their greed will eat them up. It's a no-win game.

The wise man doesn't sit atop the mountain to be all wise and meditate and be mysterious or whatever. He sits there to get away from people, from the deluded. I want to get away from people, from the deluded.

I've come to a crux in life where I need to make career choices. Essentially it's a choice between joining the machine, becoming a cog in the great freight train of commerce, or following what I believe to be right and true. We all know what that is, if we're honest.

I don't know what to choose, where will the latter end? Ciaran is a much better philosopher than I am, and much more focused. And he quit, because he realised people just don't care enough.

Is there really a way? I honestly don't think so, not in my lifetime. Hate to say it, but I don't.

I believe that if I wrote the most profound book ever written, it would be but a ripple on the surface of an ocean of delusion. It may be a ripple that turned into a Tsunami, and maybe people would take a real fucking look at things, but it won't make people feel good about themselves, and they don't want anything that makes them feel bad, so it won't hook, and it's a waste of time.

There's no place in this world for an honest man. We idolise the lies, the people we're told to. So many amazing people go unnoticed, go unrewarded, and get written off.

But after all this, I still feel a fraud if I just wander off like so many have before, letting humanity eat itself up, consume itself in its lies. And although I think it's damn near impossible to actually get people, I hesitate to throw in the towel and go live in a cave.

I'm taking a little time out to think things over.


  1. I agree with you very much on this one Rikki. I, too, have been faced with making career decisions and it is very hard when you "know too much" or "nothing at all". I think it is all about finding the environment that you enjoy most, and somehow turning that into a career.

    I have often thought about becoming a hermit myself, but I realized you do need other people in your life. It is something that is best shared. It all comes down to a delicate balancing act between too much time alone and not enough.

    Ahhh.. what to do, what to do...

  2. Once your eyes are open to how things work, then you have a choice.

    You can either be another insignificant cog in the machine. Have a comfortable life working the grind. Do the whole 'house, car, mortgage, shiny insignificant things to give your life meaning' thing.

    Or you can really delve into the human condition, and try to map it out, pass the knowledge back down the line and help others.

    I'm not sure where the second one leads, but the first one essentially says 'fuck you, i figured it out, go find the answers yourselves.'

    Even if they care to look at all.

    1. yeah, what you said about "getting distant with people" and right there about the lack of brotherhood that we could establish in society.. particularly this lack of educating new generations in our society about life lessons. It's like we really don't give a fuck, and we expect people to navigate life for themselves. I am actually finding "we don't care" is a great prompt for writing about humanity, recently

      It's weird you say "map it out" because that's actually one of the things I've kind of subconsciously wanted to do for a long time.. it's what I plan to do in life more than anything really

      For really affecting people- video games can be effective, *potentially*, because they are interactive. But today I don't see that society can do much about this inherent problem of individualism. Even though the technology and the infographics and statistics about the world's worst problems are staring us in the face. Part of the problem is organization of information.. part of it is tying meaning to the individual person.. you have to fully understand the problem (a huge huge deal ! Corruption and individual psychology and all that shiz) and then retrofit it to/for humanity.

      You're right about books: "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink."

      my blog is here